Horror and bizarro author John Bruni is running for President of the United States of America in 2016. He has no money to put into this. He has very little reach to make this happen. He’s got no plan to save this country. He’s got no experience in politics. However, he’s a pretty funny guy. Charisma goes a long way, right? And he’s a published author. That’s got to count for something. Plus he’s promised not to lie during the course of his campaign. He’s been brutally honest about his life on Twitter @tusitalabruni for a long time. Why vote for candidates who lie every time their mouths are open? And since he knows how the government works, he promises to make no campaign promises because the president doesn’t make laws. Congress does. Mr. Bruni is available for interviews, which will probably be phoners, since he has a job. Please contact him at for inquiries.

By the way, his running mate is Danger_Slater, another fellow horror and bizarro writer. He can be found here.

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